Insecurity.

Have you ever just looked in a mirror and said any of the following: "I look ugly", "I look fat", "If only I had this...", "If only I had that". Well today was one of those days. I try to be a happy person most of the time, but when I don't feel the best about myself it's really quite difficult. For instance, when I gain weight you can see it in my face. Some people don't notice it, but I definitely do. Oh and lets not forget the tummy that decides to expand, and hang over my pants when I sit down. People are always telling me how I am skinny and how they need to lose the weight, or how guys LOVE curves. Personally I think it's all a load of crap. I spent the whole summer hardly eating, working, and working out and for once in my life I felt good about how I looked. Welp not anymore. Now that my tan has faded, my workout routines have become more slim, and there is less time to make healthy meals my insecurities all come out to play.  I wish I was an average height, with long super skinny legs and overall thinner. I wish I could look more womanly, instead of like I am still 17 years old. I'm told I will love looking younger when I'm older. Well that doesn't help me now. So now that I'm laying it out on the table, I hate everything that has to do with hair besides my head, eyelashes, and eyebrows. Oh and lets not forget the pimple farm that decides to pop up every once and a while on my face. I like to think of all this as God's way of humbling us. Believe me, it works. I guess the only thing I can do is focus on the things I can change, but insecurities just suck.