I Put Your Lufa in Front of Mine.

When I was a girl, my thoughts of how love grew were skewed. Words were something that I held at the utmost importance. Although they are important, so are our actions. Since being married I have learned that in order to keep your marriage thriving, you need to put in the effort. Marriage can be a contract marriage where each gives 50% and can be terminated at any time. If we want our marriages to thrive and not have an end date, however, each person should give 100%. Does this mean that us as imperfect people with unique problems and circumstances will always be able to give 100%? Of course not. That would just not be a realistic expectation. Some days I am exhausted from giving 100% to cleaning my house and taking care of my child and my husband makes up for the 45% that I'm giving him that day. Sometimes my husband comes home and is so unmotivated because he feels unappreciated at work or can't seem to understand how his teacher is leading the class and he can only give me 20%. It happens. The problem is when we forget that love grows from intentional acts.

One thing that Logan started doing several months ago is when he was finished showering, he would place my lufa in front of his. This doesn't seem like a huge deal to some people, but it was an intentional act of service. I started to do the same, even though it hasn't become completely fluid yet. This is an intentional act of service that helps me know that he is thinking of me. There are millions of little things you can do in a day that are intentional to show your spouse that you love them. 

We also need to remember that there is no such thing as a mind reader. If you want something done for you, you need to ask the person to do it sometimes. It's also important to note that our timetables can be different. When I wake up in the morning, I plan to do certain things. If my husband asks me to do something, at times it won't get done right away. That doesn't mean that I'm not going to do it. The other thing we need to remember is that if we want something done at a certain time we should express that so that they know. Communication is key in a relationship. 

You can make your relationship work! You can do anything you set your mind to if you put in the effort. I don't particularly like physics, so I'm not going to put my effort into understanding it. What I am interested in is learning new mediums in the crafting world. So I put effort into that. I'm interested in my marriage and want to be invested in it. In order to do so, I'm going to put in the effort and think of ways to intentionally show Logan I love him. You can too!