Live Like You're Alive.

Have you ever felt like you're alive, but not really living? Personally this semester has felt like that completely to me. When you let the little things build up and weigh you down, it really takes a toll. So Paramore is my new favorite band, and when you really listen to their lyrics, they are completely inspirational. From their album called Riot, they have a song called Miracle. The song begins with "I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive. So I'm gonna start over tonight." So I had the thought over my Thanksgiving break, if I am not completely happy with the way my life is going, I need to change some things. 

The first was to change the things that have been causing the most stress and anxiety this semester. Now I have thought a lot about things that I enjoy and am good at, and accounting does not fall into that category. Naturally, I decided it was time I stop beating up on myself for not being able to excel in this subject and just move on to something that fits me better. Next semester I am exploring my options, which I thought was like the most awful thing I could ever do, but everyone has said that that is what college is for and are all for me taking this step. First of all, I know what I want, and where I am going. I don't exactly know what the stepping stones will be that help me get to my final destination, but it will all be worth it in the end. My new home will be the Rick's building, which is 20 mins away walking from my apartment. Yes I will be sacrificing a lot of time, but I know it will be worth it. So what fields am I exploring you ask? Three that came up in my career assessment of teaching/ helping others were Psychology, Social Work, and becoming a Math Teacher. Now I am planning on going on with my education to get my masters in any field I choose, so let me clarify. In psychology I would plan to be a therapist in a child setting preferably. Social work I would like to also be in the child setting as maybe a school social worker (not a baby snatcher). Math teachers are in high demand, and I am a nerd and love math so I feel like that would be a wonderful occupation as well. 

Now that I am happy with my classes, I go to the relationships in my life. I have decided to focus on the relationships in my life that make me better and lift my spirits, rather than focusing on the ones that bring me down. This only includes family and friends who are willing to put in as much effort as I put into them. That being said, no more door matt Leisa. I also feel like sitting around my apartment all the time is not helping to lift my spirits. It is important to do things you love and to be crazy and have fun. With excess or lack of fun can bring broken spirit. I mean I have many years ahead of me before I become a Grandma, so why act like one? 

Now ladies and gentlemen, I have decided that maybe hiding my talents as well, besides showing the people I am close with could also be a cause of not living like I am alive. That brings me to another section of Miracle. The next part that really woke me up was that "we've learned to run from anything uncomfortable. We've tied our pain below and no one ever has to know that inside we're broken." I love singing, I love playing the piano. Going out of my comfort zone is the next step in my process of becoming more alive. I suggest you do too :)

I have never been so into my religion as I have become in the past two years. This is another thing that I have strived to do, to feel more alive. Being in tune with the spirit and just doing all we can to be like Jesus is the best way to bring happiness to our lives. By being more prayerful, and reading my scriptures every day I have noticed  a significant change in my happiness scale. I feel more alive now then I have ever felt in all my almost 20 years.

So my friends I challenge you to evaluate your life. If you don't fully feel alive, change what you have control over!