Failure.

Since I tend to start off all my blogs with HAVE YOU EVER..? I decided its time for a new twist to things. First off, if you didn't know my major is accounting. Most people say one of the following: "EW", "What made you choose that?", "That's a lot of math right?" or the most common of them all "I hated that class". The class joke (made by our teacher) is "why did the accountant cross the road" oh because he did that the same time the year before that. I find it funny because people told me in high school that accountants become drunks, don't have time for a family, are boring, have no personality and all kinds of other things that are just not pleasing to the ears. Unfortunately peeps, I do not think I fit any of these classifications. First off, alcohol will never enter my system, second a family is a top priority in my life (for the future), and third I'm seriously one of the craziest people I know. Fun is my goal. Is is wrong for me to defy nature? Am I not meant for this pathway in life? As of now it seems that way. For some reason oddly enough everyone wants what they can't have or don't have a skill in. I of course fall into this category. I was never good at math in my younger years. I get the most satisfaction out of figuring out things on my own, which is why math became something I worked and worked at. I finally acquired a love for it. Accounting I feel is the same ball game. I get great satisfaction when my balance sheets, income statements or other data balances out, and I love the feeling of figuring out which numbers to plug into an equation. Since I was young, I have always known that I am a very hands on kind of person. If I don't do it  on my own, I will never learn. Unfortunately, this class seriously has me feeling like the stupidest person alive. I have never been a good test taker, but applying concepts to a test, when I can't see it is totally out of my ball park. Not to mention, the teacher doesn't tell us how to do things, we have to figure it out on our own. If we ask him how to do something he goes off on this huge tangent and most of the time I feel even more confused after. There are too many little things that change the way a problem can be done. It doesn't help the fact that people around me are always telling me how much better I can do. Well what if I can't? What if I'm not meant for this? How do I freaking find out because its driving me up a wall. Failure has never been an option for me. Failure will never be an option for me. Feeling like a failure, sucks.